Der Schwedische Midsommar

To give credit to the Germans, they are pretty good at making fun of other countries too. Here are four German IKEA commercials ridiculing the Swedish midsummer tradition. Get ready for some shock and awe cultural warfare.

1. singing and dancing
2. eating and drinking
3. midnight
4. the morning after
   
   

This is the German coast guard!

Yes, I know, this Berlitz commercial must have gone around the web a million times. Nevertheless, I still find it incredibly funny. His Boris Becker like blonde eyelashes make the guy look very German.

How to make a buck, part 1

Cutting the grass: $1

Mr. Benny

Mr. Benny probably does not care about cycling. Perhaps he's into college basketball. Maybe LSU made his day when they beat Duke on Thursday in the Georgia Dome. But I doubt he has heard of local cycling hero George Hincapie.

Mr. Benny drives a USPS mail truck. He stops at our mailbox every day. On Saturdays he is often greeted by Sammy or Greg. They're always hoping something's in the mail for them.

Today, it was my lucky day. Mr. Benny delivered a belated birthday present from Henk and Myriam. Two copies of De Muur, a Dutch language cycling magazine. I will be sure to read Herman Chevrolet's stories first. He is an expert in Flandriens and is very knowledgable about Belgian cycling in the 1920's. He knows all the short cuts that allow you to see the leading group in the Tour of Flanders pass twenty times. Surprisingly, he will root for Switzerland at the soccer world cup.

March Madness

I miss Milan - San Remo. This traditional bike race of almost 300 kilometers that is invariably decided in a sprint among those who survived the Poggio mountain climb. Even more than Milano - San Remo, I miss the other Spring classics: the Tour of Flanders, Paris - Roubaix, and Liege - Bastogne - Liege.

Maybe I have adjust myself and try to get into March Madness, the yearly college basketball tournament. Two tournaments, I should say, because there's a men's and a women's tournament. I have not succeeded yet. I can't seem to get the hang of basketball. Maybe it's because I work in the only office that does not have an office pool. Too many Europeans.

Greg and Sammy offer me some help. Sammy's favorite team in the tournament is LSU and Greg plans to become an NBA all star.

It's time to duel

Gregory bought three Yu-Gi-Oh Egyptian God cards on eBay: Slifer the Sky Dragon; Obelisk the Tormentor; and the Winged Dragon of Ra. These are the most powerful cards you can play in a Yu-Gi-Oh duel.

Yu-Gi-Oh card games are very complex. Greg knows all the rules. And they're not easy. For instance, the Winged Dragon of Ra's Attack and Defense are equal to the total Attack and Defense of all three monsters sacrificed to summon it. You may reduce your Life Points to as low as 1 Life Point. In exchange, Ra gains an attack bonus equal to the number of Life Points you've sacrificed.

Get it?

Joga bonita

This is Eric Cantona interrupting all transmissions broadcasting live from the heart of Germany.

Mes amis footballeurs... For too long we let liars and cheaters make a fool of the game! Look at this!

Enough!

I am here to remind the world that this game is about skills... heart... honor... joy... team spirit...

Mes amis, I need your help! Your heart and your feet! Together, me and you, we can make this game beautiful again. Beautiful!

So, step forward my brothers in football, and join us...

... Play beautiful ...

This is just the beginning... watch this space!

nikesoccer.com

Arnie, the doughnut

Sammy never read "the taxi that hurried". His favorite is "Arnie, the doughnut". A rather silly story about a doughnut who narrowly escapes his doughnut fate. Arnie is proud to be chocolate-covered, with bright-colored candy sprinkles. His first day on the planet is a big one. He is 1) cut into a ring 2) deep-fried 3) cooled 4) iced 5) sprinkled and 6) named Arnie. What he doesn't realize is that step 7 is being eaten by a human. So, when a customer, Mr. Bing, starts to put him in his mouth, he screams, "What are you doing?" Mr. Bing decides that in order to get his money's worth from Arnie he can pretend the doughnut is the dog he's always wanted--a doughnut-dog that will roll over and play fetch.

Ever since reading about Arnie, Sammy likes to have sprinkled donuts for breakfast. Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme. Either brand is fine, as long as there are plenty of sprinkles.

De Gele Taxi

"Er was eens een taxi. Het was een mooie gele taxi met een rood lijntje. En van binnen was er een zachte leren bank en ook nog twee harde leren opklapbankjes."

Those are the opening lines from one of my favorite early childhood books: De Gele Taxi. The original English title is "The taxi that hurried".

I was probably three years old when the book was first read to me. The yellow taxi first exposed me to American traffic. I was most amazed by the stoplights dangling above busy intersections, and by the large fire hydrants on the sidewalks.

Now, forty years later, I decided to start a blog. I plan to use my mobile phone to report from where ever I may be. I will name the blog after that yellow taxi: thetaxithathurried.blogspot.com